Testimony

Every day is a testimony. Every day that i am able to train and hurl cards out at that kind of speed and grandeur is a testimony to how you have made me. It is all too clear right now where you want me to go to. Perhaps when you made me, thats how you made me to be a cut above the other magicians or illusionists, that i would have this touch from you to change the experience anyone could have with cards. Training is tough... sweat, ache, pain.... still thou who has trained for 10 000 hours shall see the wonders.... more so when you train with the spirit of god...

Awesomeness. I praise you and i thank you for all you have done in me. That all i am is for you... send me... and i will go.

Praying everyday for the same cause.... 6 months lets sustain!

Goal Setting

New Year - New Goals. New Dreams. New Visions. New Limits.

Set them well!! =))

God Provides

Even as i write this. I know i am reaffirming what i know and what i do that lives with this.

Still, looking back at so many years of hard work, sweat, tears.. ever cried when you failed? haha... Champions are still ppl who fail but never give up. Yes yes.... we all know that...

Yup back tot the point. Dec was truly a demonstration of this. Even as you give up your time helping, doing all the charity work and all... just going to every single call... guess what? God's provision always is sufficient, in fact overabundant... =)) Nice...

Really feels good living this way. Just go just go... send me send me...

End of 2009

Soon =)
Yes end with a big bang! nice nice =)

Went nuh today. Nice to be there to help out. Guess all these bring me so much more joy i ever thought it would. Take me to a new level then =)

Labrador Hostel after that... looong day. But fun. Interesting what a small deck of cards can always do for others ...

Christmas

The play was awesome! First time seeing so many hands reaching out for salvation all around me. Wow! Ok it was like WOW! Presence of God was just strong. Wow!

It was nice to accompany someone to Christ. Mm i like it =) Guess thats how it ought to feel when Melo first accompanied me. Heh. Nice, v nice. Christmas is all about spreading joy, what other joy can be eternal?

And yes, so many things happened this week. Lord I am still learning more every passing day how to hear more from you and walk closer to your footsteps. Can you imagine someone tapping on your shoulder 3 times before you decide to respond? That was me. Still i responded so yea =)) Thank God for what you showed me today as well. After Christmas Celeb, went down to June's cm patient for a christmas celeb. Did not really prepare for it but was sure if God called... 3 times... it will just happen as he planned. 3 times... nuts i ought to be more sensitive. Yes it did. The family was amazing. 3 generations can you believe it? All coming to celebrate christmas. And yes, it wasnt some like small event get together and small talk... oh ho... they were SOO CLOSE to each other. The kids was obedient to all the adults and the parents were so full of love for their dear mother. You see model families all over tv... haha those are for a while... but this.. wow... Wow okay!!!

Wow. I have never seen a family as close as this. And yes, it was just my pleasure to bring the touch of magic to them. Father you convicted me of praying everyday for 1 thing for 6 months since yesterday, christmas eve, and yes you promised that if nothing happened, i would get 500 bucks haha. Lol but i know something is going to happen. It will. Lord take me as clay and mould me. Send me where you want me to go, for if 1 family can be touched in 1 day, 1 year has 365 days, even if its 10% of the days that you send me.. its still worth it.

Thanks for opening my eyes to see. Build us up that we can serve your kingdom.

Everyday for 6 months. For SCS. For ppl stricken with what is thought to be a terminal illness. Father make a miracle happen for all others.

Heavy

2009 is a different year from the others. Actually very different. Ups and Downs.

Ups. Concert. Cell group mate married. Great CG mates. Wonderful Family. Fantastic Friends. Passing postings. Blessing to audience, patients. Financial freedom. Maturity. Knowledge about much more things. Luxury branding. Nice.

Downs. Sweat. Tears. Breakups. Low scores on certain tests. Fragile life. Disease.

Why. Downs seem to remain much more than ups... perhaps cos its more recent... even if christmas is in the air. Celebration mood was totally gone actually... after that happened.

Thought i would have wrote about it on monday itself when i was there. It was different. Ever worshipped God with grief? Ever offered the sacrifice of praise? I finally understood what that mean. Nothing like that had ever shaken me so much. Its just so real. So sudden. So overwhelming. I remember that night as one of the heaviest night in my whole life. Ever felt yourself sinking into nothingness, feeling of derealisation was so real. I do not actually know why. I felt both limbs just sink down and root to the ground. Ever wondered how that feels like? I was seated, yet it was as though a thousand times of my weight was pressing down on my legs. I couldn't move them after the short eulogy. I just can't. It was as though gravity wouldnt let my tears off either and they just kept coming. It was just plain straight in your face. I did not know how i managed to carry myself through.

Sea of faces yet none of them seemed recognisable for a moment. My mind went blank. I do not know. It took quite some time before I reoriented myself back then, before i could think and talk properly. Yes a part of me wanted to leave yet a part wanted to stay. I reached home a bit blank.

Thinking about life. Thinking about God. Thinking about purpose. Thinking about grief. Thinking about heaven & Jesus. I really really just hope that you are holding her right then. That she was comfortable and peaceful just next to you.

May peace and comfort always be on your family & friends.

I did wonder, if one day, it happens to someone of such closeness to me... would i still have the perfect faith... would i still be able to give the sacrifice of praise... when now it has already stretched me to one end...

it really is different when you have seen things that are just so heavy..... Give me strength father.

Fragile

I remember only the first thing when i woke up. It was the sms. Why? I thought. I remember going back to my bed after switching off the air con. The place seemed exceedingly chilling, still. Somehow i just wanted to efface the presence of bright light from my surroundings. I buried myself into the bolster and expected all to go away. Nope, it didn’t. Instead tears came. Crying first thing in the morning isn’t a norm for me. Still, i don’t know how long past before i got out of bed again and started walking around. I haven’t even washed up, yet. As if it even mattered. Then i remembered that there were still 3 performances today to carry over. I cant bring this mood with me there...

Yesterday was different. I felt touched there.... i cried.. i never understood why... the answer came today. Why? I do not know. Life is fragile. It is not even within our control. You can be the best in all the sports and career you pursue... you can have a wonderful relationship with your loved ones... yet the next moment... you never know what will happen. And you ask why? I ask the same qn when this happened...Why?

Its supposed to be healing isn’t it? Healing...
I do not know... for this while....

Want

Yes when you have all you ever wanted last time... it feels different... makes you look at life a little different too. Money buys time. Time buys money too... Balance is key...

On a side note, christmas is coming =DDD woo hoo.. yes the christmas mood masks the pharmaco and eopt mood. Haha rocks.. =)) party party party + paragon... lol

Left

Yes ok. I admit yes.

You have lefteth me.. =/

Loooong tripp...

Breaking Away

Wonder why i asked for this.. but yes i received...

'That you shall have my wisdom, my faith, my energy, my brokenness and lastly, my conviction."

Whatever you ask for shall be freely given to you as you walk in my footsteps.

One touch from me and you will never be the same.

=)

And Perhaps.

And Perhaps now i dont even care if i let others trample on me.. why? i dun even know.

But yes somehow everything that one used to work for now just seems no longer that important when all is fulfilled. It was as though seeing all your dreams come true that all the conditions once laid down when you were walking the journey are all lifted...

Still.. all that i do would just be following your lead and trusting in you fully where you want me to go and what you want of me.

That all i would do... freely and willingly. =)

Good night. COFM EOPT tm.. but still... its a chill session....

Oh and yes, if you ask me, wj, i totally agree with what you believe in. You are one of the great examples that i look up to. that yes, as you honor him with all your actions and deeds, he will indeed honor you back.

Flowing with God. A Taste of Rainbow.

The Ideal One

Mm yes i have been thinking about it.... how would she be like... here goes

Your eyes sparkle, with full double eye lids and nice dark pupils that sparkle with wisdom and a deep sense of faith.
Your voice is sweet like myrrh, with your heavenly vocals, you praise our heavenly father and speak forth comfort to all around you.
Your hands and spirit knows no boundaries, helping all around you, and yet you never tire. I see you smile even in the face of trials. A sweet smile full of perseverance.
Your mind knows what i am thinking and predicts my next move well.
Your features are sharp and forms a pleasing sight.
Your actions show what you are - touching heaven, changing earth.

When one look, and i know whether you will take me by storm =)

Genting!

Haha guess what...

Chill Pill during posting.

Cool liao.

Cmdf rocks k. Interesting and heartwarming to see so many people full of passion and love and conviction. =D

Time Eludes

So far so good... 21 years of age and going.. haha of course going la.. else what...

But yea... come to think of it time really really eludes people. How fast time flies past... old already... and every other moment is a week apart... you don't even realise it, do you?

Well... treasure time. Use it well.

Genting =)

Dreams

Dreams come and go. Sometimes staying for a while longer, sometimes gone within a blink of an eye. They change as well. Time changes all things. People have different dreams, every one has their own defined set. When a person looks at somebody's life and ambitions and then looks at his own, sometimes he wonders whether he should experience that kind of life instead. Instead of his chasing his own dreams... that sometime may prove only too temporal.

Sometimes i wonder....

Still... chase your dreams when you are young. When you are old, you wouldnt want to look back and say ... i should have done that instead...

Palliative

Mm it seems super long since i last wrote anything down.. but yea... nowadays its just so many things going on.

Sometimes i wonder do i really really like this kind of high life... up and going every other single moment. People call you, strangers see you, you make new acquaintances almost every day... somewhat like networking, yet it doesnt really feel like it when you know that they are doctors as well.

Interestingly enough.. this year is the year that so many things unfold in front of me.. concerts... newspaper... cruises... media... what else? Sometimes i wonder how i balance all these with the heavy load of studies. Thankfully this is a slack period of time for me to re order a lot of the business plans + catch a break... chill pill.

What palliative care taught in the hospice was really true. "When you cannot add days to life, you add life to days!" Yes how true.

It really feels different to see so many impacted by just a night's work. You wonder if its all worth it? All the tears, sweat and blood.. is it? It definitely is. =)

The Best Is Yet To Come

Yes i thank you for all that is of me today.

Knowledge, Physical Self, Accomplishments, Vision, Clarity.... everything.

Yes everything... that i am just constantly reminded of the limitless limits that exist in your dimension, and that all things are always possible through you. Its interesting to be so ever so calm and peaceful even when tests are just round the corner... that one can still take time off to walk walk... talk talk....

Amazing. =)
Amazing Grace.

Salvos

First Step

Sola Fide.

To know we are saved by grace alone, given by christ alone.
To live by faith alone for His glory alone.

Nature

Nature can't be denied. Sometimes.

He who bears affliction understands and heals it well. =)

Past

Seems kind of interesting to look back to the time when we first started this journey... now that its time perhaps to move on to another chapter... another area in life... that i know your hand will guide me wherever i go... that i know that i can trust in you even when i do not see you.

Somehow its the feeling you know that you know that its going to happen.. and yes it does. The road ahead seems cloudy... yet i guess i know i wouldnt be the only one wandering through it... that there will always be a lamp unto my feet till i find my next shelter... Maybe i will come back.. maybe i wont ... I wont know for sure...

Guess this is how the new phase in life manifests... that the more you test me... the purer i shall become..

Either you lead change, or change will lead you.

=)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Mentalist

Past & Present

That when that which is perfect has come, then that which is imperfect will be done away.

When i was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

It is as though we see in a mirror, our past dimming away, our present become much clearer, face to face. That I know in fully now what I only knew partly then.

To abide faith, hope & love.

To use this one life, as a blessing to others.

Purpose

Ah how nice is it to talk about purpose once more... admidst all the work and play... yes i am finally back to you my dear blog... seems like i have neglected you for a while...

But yes. Now i realise how much i live to bring joy to others, be it just a kind word or perhaps running a small errand for someone... yes it helps.. don't you think? Isn't that word of appreciation all worth the work? Or perhaps just that slight tinge of smile worth the effort?

Yes it is. Very.

So much i would love to give out of myself even more... stretch my capacity then, that i could love like how you love. =D

That all i am, is for you.

Why we work the way we work?

1. The customer deserves our best, no matter how you're feeling.

2. Whether you do this full-time, part-time, spare-time, half-time, anytime -- if there's a fee involved, you are a professional and a pro delivers.

3. Nobody ever created WOW moments by simply skating.

We are in the Wow business -- and it's our job every time we set foot onstage, that we bust our tails to produce an experience that goes way beyond what our customers expect.

Fruits =)

Do you walk in love with others (John 13:34-35)? Do you purposefully look for ways to bless others and reach out to people (Luke 10:30-37)? Do you try to serve and put others first (Mark 9:35)? Do you keep your word and do what you say you will do (Psalm 15:1-5, especially notice v. 4)?

Race

Wonder what we race for in life....

Time buys money. Money buys things. Things makes one happy.

Race

Yes i like it. Race.

Running somehow takes me back to a place of inner peace.. that nothing else seems to get in the way and that your mind takes a short break when all your body understands is movement and panting.... wheezing... heh rhonchi perhaps?

Yes i found where i used to be and where i always draw my inner comfort from once again. Guess it always happen like that, doesnt it? Life is always full of ups and downs.

All downs will culminate in a eventual up =)

Nice nice. Am pretty happy once more. Good thing it sets the right mood before the big day!

Oh ho how exccitttingg!!! =DDD

Wonder

I wonder why i am telling you so much.... perhaps its cos you are one of the first people who actually brought me onto this journey that i am devoting my life to right now....

Yet somehow i just wonder if trust misplaced would ever come back.... i guess the answer would be no....

Dont you know? Someone who gets burnt fears the fire...